Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Our own Reality TV Show

Hubby and I enjoy speculating and discussing buildings and projects that we pass by during our travels. He enjoys the design aspect and I get caught up in what-color-schemes-should-have-been-employed and other similar issues involving materials types and selection.

I guilelessly commented one day, during such an en route critique, that "wouldn't it be great if we were independently wealthy, and I could just take a little pet project, such as a little weekender cottage plan, and run with it and see what happens?! I could really hammer a project out..." (Keep in mind, Hubby successfully has coordinated his own his-job-depends-on-it building projects)

At which point, Hubby suggested the following timeline of highlights for my project because "come hell or high water", I am a get-it-done and don't-sweat-the-details kind of a gal:

Day 2: DEP (Department of Environmental Protection) shuts down the construction site b/c I started excavating a wetland.

Day 16: Finally got engineer to finish design to fix wetland and secure appropriate permits. DEP now off my case and building may commence after paying thousands of dollars in fines and wetland restoration costs.

Day 17: Wetland is restored to DEP's specifications.

Day 18: Work resumed on excavating for new building site.

Day 19: Find and purchase Italian clay roofing tile online.

Day 20: Excavator re-digs footings for the 2nd time, b/c I failed to square up the footing trenches.

Day 22: Poured concrete footings.

Day 23: Jack hammered concrete footings out. (Forgot to set grade stakes to ensure that they'd be level.)

Day 26: Re-poured level footings.

Day 37: Cut trenches in concrete slab. (Forgot to plan for electrical/plumbing.)

Day 42: Jack hammered plumbing lines out. (Forgot to glue PVC together.)

Day 80: Set built-on-site roof trusses.

Day 87: Roof collapsed while installing special-order Italian roofing tile, due to inadequate home-made truss design. Re-ordered special Italian tile.

Day 88: Employed reputable lawyer to defend me in lawsuit from roofers.

Day 115: Pre-manufactured trusses arrived on site. Newly-hired contractor informs me that he's unsure if they can be set due to the building being out of square.

Day 126: Contractor finished adjusting the plumb and squareness of walls in preparation for setting the new trusses.

Day 135: Roof has been finished. Special imported tile is stunning.

Day 156: Finally finished installing doors and windows after customizing to fit incorrectly-built studded openings.

Day 157: Plumbing/electrical fixtures arrive. Realized forgot to run electrical/plumbing within the walls.

Day 178: Just finished patching holes from running electrical/plumbing lines.

Day 185: Power hooked to building.

Day 186: Building pet project burnt down. Suspected cause: Improper wiring.

Day 187: Begged Hubby to bail me out of complications from said pet project.

Huh. So much for the profitable entrepreneurial scheme, I do, however, think that it may be quite suited for our own reality TV show. We're still looking for sponsors...

1 comment:

  1. I heard tell that opposites attract? Hmmm